Welcome to New to Sikhi community
No disrespect to any race personally, I have faced similar issues from my parents but later they changed their mind. However things didn't worked out afterwards with the girl (that's a different story). The mentality of Punjabis parents about western girls/boys is that majority of people from west have a way of life different than Punjabi traditions. The westerners per them choose to be in a relation for their own selfish and material goals. They change their partners like they are wearing clothes and they want new ones frequently. The rate of divorces in west is high and such a life style have imbedded negative thoughts about westerners in general. And its hard to convert this mentality due to years of treacherous regime of Brits in Punjab. Where they used Sikhs to win wars and dumped them when Sikhs needed them the post, e.g post independence Sikh massacres.
All I can say is hang in there and be motivated, things heal with time. I believe this reply is coming after many year. I pray things had worked out well for you.
I cannot change the fact that I have fair skin and that my ancestors were not Indian, or Indo-Aryan. It would help at least, if those who lead the congregations at Gurdwara at least assisted those who have a love of Ek Onkar, rather than supporting racist factions and individuals within the community. I made myself eternally unpopular for reminding someone why there are four doors!
Danka, I really love this quote it made me smile. For the hardest parts is trying to breakdown the stereotypes my partners parents have about western women.. most are in regards to 'loose morals' 'divorce' and a lack of 'willingness' to embrace or understand Sikhism and Punjabi culture. Yes, I am fair skinned and this is something I cannot change, but I do not fall into these stereotypes. I am working hard to learn the language and customs so I can present myself well to them. The two biggest battles I face, is that we are in Australia and they are in India, due to visa restrictions we cannot travel to India for 2 years so our meetings are down via skype and phone and this is particularly stress for myself and them as my partner has to translate due to language barriers, I feel like its impossible to really know someone or judge them if you have never really met them in person. The second BIG issue is that I am our Maori decent (Indigenous to New Zealand) and as part of my culture we get many tattoos. I am heavy tattooed and whilst my parents and partner completely accept this and its very accepted in Australia to be tattooed, his parents are family despise tattoos. I am always respectful and cover them when we skype and would always cover them in their presence, especially in India, but next year they are travelling to Australia to meet my family and I can't cover them in front of my family as it would be disrespectful but not covering them would be disrespectful to his family.. I am also very proud of my tattoos as they tell the story of me, my family and my culture... I am just not sure how to tackle this issue as I don't want to hurt or offend anyone.
Amarjit, I don't know if that's really good advice to give a westerner. You're implying that if the parents are against it, you shouldn't even bother, which is quite sad. I could never take that advice from you. As a westerners perspective, i'm marrying my bf, not his parents.
OmDan, Sorry to hear that you're having a hard time. I feel your pain since my relationship is in the quiet aswell right now. How did you go about approaching his family? Were they really mean to you?
Danka, Love the saying. I wish more people believed in it.
I am so sorry about that. What kind of mental illness does he have?
@arvinder, I agree with you, but it's not always a case.
waheguru ji will give evryone whatever you want please dont fight . there are lot of families in india it depends person to person . our family is open and we welcome any religion girl wheteher is it white / black or whatever . I personally have lot of white friends wherever country i travelled and they love having punjabi friend in the end of the day your ethos is what you are here for , for that its all about your parents teachings or your upbringing matters .