Welcome to New to Sikhi community
I came across a topic on sikhsangat.com regarding imterfaith marriages and this what I wrote
"A non-Sikh fiance is far more likely to embrace Sikhism prior to marrying a Sikh if
a) his/her Sikh in-laws are very welcoming to him/her
b) the local Sikh community in which the couple resides is also welcoming and acts as an extended family
c) his in-laws and the local Sikh community places the need to teach him Punjabi and Gurmukhi as a top priority.
d) the Sikh spouse and Sikh in-laws want him/her to embrace Sikhism and are willing to teach him/her to practice Sikhism devoutly. Remember a non-Sikh from outside the Sikh community who is in a relationship with a Sikh would only become a Sikh if he or she is felt welcomed and his or her in-laws treating him or her as a son/daughter and ensuring that he/she is active in the Sikh community so there won't be any stigma for the new Sikh convert in regards to wearing a beard and turban"
Few days ago, I posted on the FB that I unfriended certain Sikh. His opinion of such marriages made my blood boil. You pretty much summed up everything I wanted to write in my post about interfaith marriages.
When I heard people discussing how to stop interfaith wedding and how they were planning to come on the wedding day to gurudwara, I thought about my own marriage and how lucky I was. I feel ashamed, sad and sorry for these people.
I think of Punjabi boys growing beards for theirs weddings and shaving it after 1 hour... Who is real Sikh here? Person who chooses Sikhi or person who is born into Sikhi but does not appreciate it...
Thing is danka, we are a small faith in numbers compared to the other 4 major world religions. The problem with interfaith marriages is after 1-2 generations the kids totally lost and follow atheist or another religious path and the determinant of our faith. That is nothing good for Sikhism and Sikh demographics in the long term. Already we see in some Punjabi households were both partners are Sikh but they teach nothing to their kids about the faith or practise it themselves and the kid becomes lost in various ideological messages that they are being bombarded with in daily life.
A few years ago I had researched what happened to offspring of Sikh punjabi immigrants who came to mexico and america in the early 19th century and those who went south american countries like Argentina and i've found that the generations that came from those mixed faith marriages did not produce any Sikhs. And if we look at faiths who do not have a vibrant strong youth base they fade into history like the parsi Zoroastrians who were many in number centuries ago and ruled persia and no nowhere to be found same with the arab pagans they were wiped out with the advent of Islam.
As for the Punjabi boys who keep their beard for a Sikh wedding then shave it off 1 hour later I completely agree with you regarding that but they are still allowed a Sikh marriage if they marry a fellow adherent of the faith. Keeping hair or cutting of it does not make one a Sikh. Keeping hair makes a person a sardar or sardarni
What if both are happy with their own religion and neither of them wants to convert?
then so be it
My personal view and the Sikh mainstream view is that Sikhs should only marry other Sikhs doesn't matter what caste, race, ethnic, nationality you are as long as you are a firm believer in Sikhism and your of opposite genders then you are allowed an anand karaj (Sikh marriage).
There are those people who did have a Sikh marriage with their non-Sikh partners and that is fine if the non-sikh partner later on went to embrace Sikhi if they have not then what was the pointless ritual of the Sikh marriage. We are not Christians were the meaning of christiain marriage has faded and meaningless. We are Sikhs were we believe that marriages between a man and a woman is a union of both souls under the guidance of Guru Ji. It is a beautiful acceptance of each other and waheguru's hukaum (commandment).
Sikhs technically can not get divorced there is no such thing as a divorce thats why Sikh marriages are ment for life and not to be taken lightly where you marry for a few months or 1-2years then divorce. A Sikh marriage is a life long commitment you literally take that person for life, sickness and eventual death so its important you chose the right person and you both have the right mindset. A divorce is only granted after many steps to reconcile the marriage if there is problems and then eventually granted under the guidance of the panj pyare.
So when it comes to marrying someone under Sikh marriage rites I would say should be only open to those who are believers and those who are willing to embrace the faith. If a non-sikh person is in love with Sikh person and wants to marry them then there is always the civil marriage / court marriage option they do not have to have that religious Sikh marriage to be with their partner.
yes indeed :)
Interracial marriages are absolutely fine within Sikhism as long as both of the couple are Sikhs. If one partner isnt a sikh then (like the jews, the muslims and the catholics) its required they convert to our religion for marriage.