Is it possible at all that an amritdhari sikh may be permitted to have a partner who does not follow sikhism (atleast the tenet about hair)?

"I'm a hindu girl dating a sikh boy since 2 years now. We have been committed towards getting married. However, he is amritdhaari and insists that I can not cut or even trim my hair or else our relationship will end. Is it possible at all that an amritdhari sikh may be permitted to have a partner who does not follow sikhism (atleast the tenet about hair)?"

The above is the comment left on my old blog. Anyone advice?

 

 

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But it does not happen in real life. Mixed marriages are more and more aceptable.

I can understand not cutting your hair but for hygienic reason, I think armpit hair needs to be trimmed.

Eyebrows?

Can somebody help us with quotes from GGS?

 

Norman Lawrence said:

I think that it is accepted that amritdhari Sikhs marry only amritdhari Sikhs
Hair removal is strictly prohibited, but before we get to into that, we should first focus on if this girl in question has Naam because through Japna of Waheguru's name people will want to change internally it's certainly changed the life of Bhai Rama Singh. So we should have a different focus than hairs, it becomes a natural process that someone doesn't have to tell you to do it, you just do.

Sat Sri Akal,

 

I agree with my brother Norman as to an Amritdhari Sikh ought to marry an Amritdhari Sikh only.  But in the case above a Sikh guy in love with a Hindu girl who intend to get married. But as per the SRM(Sikh Rehat Maryada) one cannot force anyone including spouse or would-be-spouse to keep hairs.  

 

Yes, it becomes a moral duty for an Amritdhari Sikh guy to advise his wife and guide her to the path of Sikhi but it cannot be a pre-condition that the would-be-wife has to keep hairs, the pre-condition here in this case should be that both of them get married in Gurdwara only.  Accepting Sikhism is a gradual process which may take years to fully accept it. 

 

How can one expect that a Hindu girl who has followed her religion all through her life that she for the sake of love and marriage she start keeping hairs and become an Amritdhari Sikh overnight.  The guy in question needs to sit with her girlfriend discuss and try to fix his marriage with her as per the Anand Karaj guidelines and then after marriage slowly and gradually try to convince her the importance of hairs in Sikhi and also about other Sikh customs and traditions.  Overnight one cannot become a Sikh, one becomes a true Sikh the day his/her heart says that yes i have understood the importance of hairs and i will be in my full Bana now-onwards.  Forcing someone is not acceptable in Sikhi but yes guiding and preaching Sikhi is acceptable.

 

But the most important issue for the guy in question is i don't know whether he realizes it or not is about the kids which they may have in the future.  Because it's a must for an Amitdhari Sikh to give Sikhi teachings only to his kids, he cannot make a compromise on this and rest will depend on the kids' own destiny when they grow up.

 

 

And my dear sister Danka, you raised the question about hairs under armpits and eyebrows.  If and only if you are an Amritdhari Sikh then it's a must to maintain complete body hairs from Head to Toe as Akal Purakh's Hukam.  Non-Amritdhari Sikhs are not bound by the SRM(Sikh Rehat Maryada). 

 

Sat Sri Akal.

Danka aka Desilegend said:

But it does not happen in real life. Mixed marriages are more and more aceptable.

I can understand not cutting your hair but for hygienic reason, I think armpit hair needs to be trimmed.

Eyebrows?

Can somebody help us with quotes from GGS?

 

Norman Lawrence said:

I think that it is accepted that amritdhari Sikhs marry only amritdhari Sikhs

Sister Danka,

                    How can i get in touch with the guy or with the girl in question above?

She left an anonymous comment on my old blog gorasikh.blogspot.com...

WaheGuru Ji Ka Khalsa,

WaheGuru Ji Ki Fateh.

I think the best possible solution in this case would be if both of them wait for couple of years, the girl starts learning about Sikhism and once she is prepared she can convert to Sikhism, grows her hairs long and then marry the Sikh guy.  

This way she will be marrying as per the Sikh Code of Conduct and the guy need not to force the girl also to keep long hairs which is totally against the Rehat.  So, the couple needs to keep the patience and then slowly and steadily move towards the path of Sikhism.

The guy in question has threatened to end the relationship if the girl doesn't keeps long hairs but he ought to give some time to the girl so that she feels comfortable to embrace Sikhism and then they both can get married in Gurdwara. Because as per the message of the Jathedar of the Akal Takht only Sikhs can get married in Gurdwara as per the Anand Karaj ceremony and also the SRM says so.

I was ignorant till yesterday because i had not read the SRM fully but today i am sure about it as i have gone through it thoroughly.  Please find attached the files, the message of the Jathedar of the Akal Takht which is in Gurmukhi script and also the English translation of the same message.  

WaheGuru Ji Ka Khalsa,

WaheGuru Ji Ki Fateh.

 

Attachments:

There is quote in gurbani that even suggests keeping unshorn hair (that hindu sadhu's have) and NOT having a good heart with love of God is falsehood.

Therefore we can take from that and apply it to Sikhs that it is not necessary to have the whole 5ks to be a Sikh for those are no use if your heart is corrupt and yet you have the looks of a amritdhari Sikh.

If someone wants to be a Khalsa (martial sikh brotherhood) then they must adhere to the strict rehat and keep the 5k's. So if rehat says you must marry only a baptised amritdhari khalsa Sikh then thats what you must do if you want to marry your Sikh partner as a Hindu. Also the Khalsa were created to protect the Sikh community and other innocents from the totalitarianism of the oppressive authority and ideologies of the castist Hindu king's and Islam-fascists invading hordes the mughuls,etc.

The Khalsa are not ment to exist in comfortable luxury lifestyles their purpose in life are to seek death in defence of Sikhism and righteous deeds. But these days how many of these khalsa's are willing to die or step in when they see a wrong? Not many so its a false concept to automatically assume just because one Sikh doesnt have uncut hair they cant be called a Sikh as some fundamentalists like to think.

Khalsa was created to institutionalize principle of EQUALITY as declared & practiced by Guru Nanak & his successors.It is supposed to disregard caste,creed,gender,economic,racial & other inequalities in everyday life.It is to protect the greatest of Human Right"Freedom of Conscience" for which Sikh Gurus'&their followers courted numerous sacrifices with long line of martyrs to prevent oppression of free thinkers.
U cant stand in two boats at a same time .... As simple

It is better for him to marry an amritdhari girl. It just doesn't make sense for him marry someone who is not even walking the same path as him and it is not right for the girl either just to convert for him. I would recommend her to learn about sikhi and get amrit herself.

Trimming/shaving/waxing any hair from any part of your body is not permitted for men and women. The concept is not to keep your hair but rather acknowledge the sacredness of the body that god has given you. Our body is perfect and there is no need to change it.

Shaving your armpit or bikini area is just a societal practice and it varies across cultures. My wife is a family Physician and she recommend women not to shave or wax just because of the societal pressure because she understands various physical mechanisms of our body. The purpose of hair in our armpits Is to soak sweat, avoid bacterial infections, trap pleasant natural body (to attract opposite sex) etc etc.   

yes aap shaadi kar sakte hai amritdhari se. Pyar mai apka husband aapko kuch kahega to apko manna hoga. Ya pir apko pehle sochna tha yeh sab karne se pehle.

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